ahh, another leisurely shabbat.. i have become such a homebody here.  i get invitations for shabbat dinner every week, sometimes more than one, but i try to stay home for at least one shabbat per month.  this is partly because i really enjoy having some time to myself from time to time, especially after the long and exhausting weeks i generally have here.. but also, i have to admit, because the tv programming on friday nights is not-to-be-missed!  it figures that in a country like israel, with so many religious people, they would put the best shows on on the one night a week that no one can turn on the tv.  actually, it's one of the most secular countries in the world, i understand.. but of course, jerusalem is not exactly a secular city.  so this show that i have loved for years, and the reruns for which i searched far and wide in the states (because it's off the air now), happens to have popped up over here.  it's called party of five, everyone thought it was cheesey in the states, but i always loved it, and i cry at least once during every episode! :)  anyway, they show TWO episodes of it on friday nights, one after the other, and i have come to love my veg-sessions every week.  then at 11pm they have just started showing six feet under, which is an amazing hbo drama that is in its 4th season over in the states and just started its 1st here.  oh well.. small price to pay, i guess. :)

the other thing that happened yesterday was that around 2pm, there was a knock on my door.. and i opened it up, not expecting anyone.. it took me a second, but then i realized that i was staring into the face of an old boyfriend from something like 9 years ago!  this was a guy who i dated on my very first trip to israel.. i suppose he was my first israeli boyfriend (certainly not my last!).  it turns out that he had received an email from me and found out where i live, which happens to be about 5 minutes from where he lives!  so apparently he's stopped by like 5 times but i haven't been here.. and this was the first time i was, in fact, home.  so that was a serious blast from the past.  it was great to see him and great to catch up.. it's so nice to have so many friends in my neighborhood.. i was glad, however, to hear that he has a girlfriend, as i have been over him since relatively soon after we broke up.  i was young, it was intense and great, but it was a loooong time ago... anyway, it just reminded me again how small this country really is.

so that's basically what i've been doing this weekend.  oh, and on thursday night, i went to the wedding of the guy i'm going to work with on the ZAKA project.  it was in "neot kedumim," some big forest about 45 minutes from jerusalem, and it was quite an experience.  first of all, it has been pouring down rain here for the past 3 days, even flooding one area of the city.. and thursday was no exception.  oh, did i mention it was an outdoor wedding??  it was also very religious, something to which i have not yet been exposed.. so we got there at 5:30pm and of course were directed that the women went to the left, men to the right.. it was almost reminiscent of Holocaust selections.. and it annoyed me, you know, because i'm such a liberated american woman and all.

so all the women went into this big tent with the bride and all her family and friends.. and we sat there for about 3 hours -- with the rain pouring on the tent, often so loud we couldn't hear each other talk -- while everyone sang and talked to the bride and recited blessings and all this crazy stuff.  it seemed like it was a very nice thing for the bride, but i thought it went on a little long.. at least there was food. :)  i had an interesting time people-watching, though, because there was a very eclectic group of people there.  most of them seemed to be american, but were very religious -- covered head, etc.  one girl spoke about being at wellesley with the bride, and having been totally non-religious.  within 3 years she came to israel, became ultra-religious, got married, had a kid, and now here she is.  i couldn't help but wonder how in the hell she got to this point so fast and so intensely.  either way, she seemed very happy.

so around 7:30pm, all the men came into our tent in a big procession.. there was a drum being pounded and a flute and a violin, and everyone was singing (well, only the men -- we had to stop when they got there because women aren't allowed to sing with the men).  so there was this big ceremonial thing, the rabbi said a bunch of stuff and pretended to cry, and then zev (the groom) put a big thick veil over the bride's face.  apparently this is so that he never forgets that he never really knows her.. the rabbi said something about when we reach a point where we think we know someone, we act based on how they were yesterday rather than the person they might be today.. or something like that.  it sounded good but overall i was skeptical about the whole thing.  the bride had to keep the veil on her face through the entire ceremony, including walking down to the chuppah and the whole wedding rituals.  again, as a "liberated woman," that annoyed me for her.  i mean, i'm sure all these rituals are very meaningful for the religious people, but some of it just didn't seem right.

anyway.. so then we all went down to the chuppah (wedding canopy), and we all stood in the rain for another 1.5 hours or so while they did all the stuff there.  the parents and bride had to walk around the groom 7 times, which represented something i can't remember.. and i can't tell much more about the rest of it because i was so cold that my brain stopped functioning.  after the chuppah, we all went into big tents to eat, the one part of the process that i was very excited about.  we sat there for about an hour waiting for something to come out.. and apparently (i only found this out afterwards), the bride and groom were in some private room having sex during this time.  now, this ritual really fascinated me.  apparently, the bride and groom are not allowed to be in a room alone together at all before the wedding, and certainly not to have sex before the marriage.  so as soon as the ceremony is over, they go into this room and do it.. and apparently afterwards someone has to check the sheets to make sure there is blood on it.  now i gotta be honest, i can't imagine what it's like to try to have sex for the first time, knowing all the people you know and love are right outside knowing exactly what you are doing!  this on top of the fact that the bride had to fast all day and was probably exhausted and ravenous.  pretty crazy stuff.

so finally they came out, probably much happier than they were when they went in.. and we got to have our soup.  by then it was 10:30pm and we were probably more ravenous than the bride was!  then everyone started dancing and the guests were told that dinner would be served when the dancing was over.  well i hated to be a killjoy, but i had to get home to my dog, who had been home alone all day.. so i got the hell out of there at 11pm, and i heard the real food wasn't served until after 11:30pm.  insane.  but i'm sure they were all having a blast. :)  overall, it was a fascinating experience.. and it was nice to see a bunch of people from rhode island that i know, because the groom grew up there.  i also enjoyed meeting all the other non-religious people there -- there weren't many so we all gravitated toward each other. :)

so that's the news with me.  many of you have asked if things have been looking up as far as the vcr, washer and dryer, and my general mood.. the answer is yes, and i'm currently writing another article about the vcr.. after i'm done with that, i'll write here again with the latest info on all that.  thanks for reading! :)